I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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