so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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