I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
