that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
