every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
