i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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