OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
