zippers are such a cool invention
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
