Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
