he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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