so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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