respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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