I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
