Sponge bath it is.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
