I cut my penus on the lid.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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