just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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