wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
