Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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