It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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