I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
