OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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