All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I think your dad took our porno
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
