Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
