thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Life is so much better after having sex.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
