im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
