ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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