We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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