How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
