how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
