Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
