if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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