I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
