you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
