HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You left your phone here
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