i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
