Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
