Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
