this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
