you win again, gameday.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
