So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
