No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
