hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
