I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
