You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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