u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
