its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
