Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He? As in you personified your dick?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
