Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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