We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
