His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
