I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
