I think scott just propositioned me for sex
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
