Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I could fuck to npr.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
