You just made me feel so damn special
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He felt like a one man threesome
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Randomize
