I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
